Tuesday, September 22, 2020

Gammas of /r/RPChristians

First of all, this is Reddit. Why do I post there and become SURPRISED when I encounter a Gamma?

OK, shame on me.

Anyway, I'll post my commentary in case anyone does a search for that subreddit thinking, as I did, that it could possibly not be run by Gammas considering it literally has "Red Pill" in its name. Yes. I know I'm an idiot.

Here's my original post, titled "Post-Divorce Reports":

At least for me, prior to my divorce, I was paralyzed by the fear of Asset Rape and Child Custody disputes. I just read horror story after horror story of men getting screwed by divorce courts.

In my case, being less than two years after divorce and remarried to an angel in comparison to my ex, things have turned out much better than I could had ever imagined. In fact, had I known what the outcome would've been, I probably would've hurried my ex out the door the numerous times she threatened divorce prior.

Perhaps, it's because the movement is too young, that we don't hear from men who have gone through the divorce court gauntlet, come out on the other side, and stated it wasn't as bad as they had feared (or maybe it was!).

Obviously, it will be a mixed bag. I know it would had been more helpful for me to understand the aftermath.

I don't personally know a lot of divorced men myself, but the ones I do know, ended up trading in for a much better wife and are much happier now.

Anyway, I'm interested to hear some after-divorce reports. Obviously, the process itself is hell, and perhaps for some years after.

Are RPChristian men much better off in the end?

There seems to be about 7 moderators in that subreddit. One of the moderators, Red-Curious states:

Let's be clear: RPC does not endorse casual divorce, especially for the purpose of "trading in for a much better wife." Your post is conspicuously absent of any biblical context.

That said, while the post inappropriately encourages men toward divorce, we'll leave it up for now on the expectation that maybe a few men in the process of divorce or who have recently been through divorce can be encouraged.

Another cuationary:

being less than two years after divorce and remarried

This tells me you're still in the honeymoon phase, so I'm extremely skeptical of the permanency of the results you're seeing. I'd prefer to see you write this post after you've got 10 years with the new woman under your belt. Yes, some men can and will - and I hope you're one of them. But for a newlywed, I wouldn't be surprised if you could also end up in the other larger camp of men who find that their second marriage is a re-hash of their first.

Put another way, you're not far enough in yet to be able to say authoritatively that your choice was a wise one, at least in the classic sense. Biblically, depending on your circumstances and theology, it's almost certainly a sinful choice. Though perhaps there's room for the choice to be redeemed.

Immediately the stench of gamma filled my nostrils. I was planning on doing a public rebuttal, but there was no point since he already stated that he would keep the post up.

One thing that immediately blared Gamma was regarding how inaccurate, to the point of slander, that Red-Curious characterized my post. There were no questions of clarification. This was the rebuttal I was planning but did not post:

>while the post inappropriately encourages men toward divorce

This is a false projection. I clearly stated a situation where the wife is threatening divorce and already out the door.


>Let's be clear: RPC does not endorse casual divorce, especially for the purpose of "trading in for a much better wife." Your post is conspicuously absent of any biblical context.

Your imputed meaning of the intent of my words are incorrect. I assume men reading this post are in their situation because they DO NOT believe in divorce and are already familiar with Paul's Household codes, but they are forced into their situation by a wife filing divorce. They wouldn't be reading my post if they were the ones initiating divorce. I am not making any Biblical claims so I do not understand why I would need Bible verses.


>I'd prefer to see you write this post after you've got 10 years with the new woman under your belt.

>But for a newlywed, I wouldn't be surprised if you could also end up in the other larger camp of men who find that their second marriage is a re-hash of their first.

This does not logically make sense if applied to all other areas of Christian faith (ie. New Believers, New Jobs, New Church, Newly married even).


>Put another way, you're not far enough in yet to be able to say authoritatively that your choice was a wise one, at least in the classic sense.

You're putting words in my mouth. I never claimed it was "wise." My point is the number of husbands threatened by their wives who want divorce and the testimonies of those Christian men who've made it to the other side.


>Biblically, depending on your circumstances and theology, it's almost certainly a sinful choice. Though perhaps there's room for the choice to be redeemed.

You have a pattern of over-presuming to the point of slander.

I will also note that College-educated women, for which make up the majority of Reddit, initiate divorce at a 90% rate.

Anyway, why do I care if people misrepresent my words? Move on, and there was no point in making a fuss of things where Gammas abound. Any future person using Reddit search, will be able to find my blog should they find themselves in the same situation as me.

Then, two things occurred which really made my head scratch in how bad the reek of Gamma was in this subreddit. The first was this response:

OK. Weird. I didn't even mention anything that had to do with the SSH in this post. (Now on review, they probably saw my post in reference to alphagameplan and Vox Day.)

Fine. I was content just moving on. Typical Reddit. It's what I get.

Then I just check again, and another Gamma shows up responding to someone I have never met who told his post-divorce story.

If you read the original post, it's clear redwall92 is projecting way too hard and misrepresenting what the original author wrote.

What is interesting in all these cases of "putting words in other people's mouths" is that it seems to be an accepted pattern on the Internet.

What immediately came to my mind were the Pharisees who brought in false witnesses to lie about what Jesus said. Or, they would twist Jesus' words to mean what Jesus never intended.

Liars. Snakes. Children of the Devil. 

The Name of The Rose (Spoilers) & Love For Books

About two nights ago I finally finished the Name of the Rose by Umberto Eco based on the recommendation by Vox Day. Last night, I watched the movie with Sean Connery. Vox Day's love for books has been rubbing off on me.

Because I am stuck in Puerto Rico still, I am not wanting to begin my library in full speed because it will mean I'll have to transport it to Idaho, where I hope to make my stand in time for 2033.

I didn't bring any of the books or DVDs that I had in California when I moved to Puerto Rico. Now, I am regretting it a little. I only had cheap, paperbacks that I purchased because they were cheaper than the e-books or similar in price, but still they are a comfort when I consider the reality that Amazon and the Internet will not always be around. I want to be able to share with my children, like I would want to share with them a good movie.

I am identifying more with the sentiments of William toward books and knowledge and the horror he felt when it all burnt down. And especially, the coveted book of Aristotle on comedy.

When I consider how important ideas are and how they've been important in understanding the tragedies in my own life, I have a certain amount of horror with the thought of not being able to share the knowledge with my children and grand children.

With a flip of a switch, what if Amazon disappeared and you could no longer access any of the books through the Internet? What would you say to your children? How would you ever be able to communicate the level of depth and nuance in the thousands of pages lost until you can somehow reach a physical library that I'm guessing are fading even more rapidly with the over-reliance on the Internet.

I can imagine my frustration and self-hate (gnashing of teeth) I'd experience if I didn't have the most important, physical books at my hand when the switch gets turned off. I could had so easily purchased them beforehand and I had plenty of warning.

In terms of saving movies, I'm not as interested. I hardly really watch them now, anyway, and when I do, it is at 1.5x speed, just trying to jump to the parts that are interesting. A movie simply cannot go into the depth that a book can. I am not readily able to remember a movie that changed me as a person, however, I can easily refer to numerous books which have.

I am now committed at this point to no longer purchase an e-book if I can prevent it. I would rather pay the $20 or so for the hardcover copy. Luckily, because I am trying to focus on the classics as voted on in Goodreads, I can easily download the books to my Kindle from public domain.

This will keep me occupied for some years.

The other comforting aspect of having a library on hand is that I can feel comfortable dying and just telling my children to read the books in the library. There is still so much more to parenting, but even with my lacking a very literate and non-Christian father, I have been raised with much wiser fathers in Aristotle, Epictetus, Aurelius, and especially the wisdom of the Bible. 

This wisdom is more precious than gold.

Feminism and Critical Race Theory in the PCA

I am thankful that Pastor Dewey Roberts has been writing about the underlying problems in the PCA which have manifested in the handling of SJW Pastor Phony in my divorce and the theft of my children. I recently got on his mailing list, and did a Google search to see if he has been publishing his emails. He has, and this one is particularly relevant to my case.

All of the problems in the PCA today find their nexus in Cultural Marxism. Social justice, human sexuality, racism, and women’s rights are all parts of the injustice that Liberation Theology has been supposedly fighting and which were identified as systemic problems in Western culture. Yet, the end game is not the liberation of the oppressed but the ascendancy of Marxism. The end game is the overthrow of Western culture which is founded on Judeo-Christian principles. The end game is the overthrow and oppression of evangelical denominations. Just look at the Marxist governments of the world and what they have done to the Church. Look at how the Soviet Union oppressed its citizens and the Church.

Conservatives in the PCA are focusing on same-sex attraction (which is appropriate). Meanwhile, Cultural Marxism is being ushered in the front door. There is no effective way to fight the CRT and Cultural Marxism in the PCA. The PCA will not form study committees to investigate any issue associated with CRT. There will be no charges brought against those who teach CRT—certainly not against former Moderators. Regrettably, the PCA has unwittingly capitulated in broad daylight and few people have even noticed. Homosexuality cannot be rooted out of the PCA because it is just one component of CRT. CRT is the Hydra sin which will destroy the PCA as an evangelical denomination. And the destruction of the US and Christian churches is exactly what Liberation Theology/Critical race Theory was intended to do by the Marxists who founded it. 

Before I even knew he existed, Pastor Roberts echos the same observations I've been making. I've been focusing specifically on the infiltration of Feminism into the church, but they all stem from the same root lie: that the Bible's commands have a secondary position underneath the Social Justice narrative.

It is due to the primacy of Social Justice that Pastor Phony committed the following:

  • Ignored the common sense of hearing both sides of a marital dispute prior to coming to a judgment
  • Participated in the legal, custody dispute
  • Ignored Matthew 18 on the proper manner to confront a believer accused of sin
  • Broke his vows in upholding the Westminster Confession, specifically in regards of causes for Divorce
Yes. I realize this comes to the surprise of no one. Considering the state of American Churches this is expected. Even when the PCA eventually starts having women and gay pastors, will anyone even be shocked? OK, so the PCA already has openly gay pastors.

At a certain point, I'm just beating a dead horse, and I am certainly feeling like I've reached that point.

The only thing left is to document the utter failure of Evangel Presbytery to do a proper investigation. I could be wrong, but considering I have yet to hear from anyone on the investigating committee (it's been almost a month since they were assigned), I am not that optimistic.

Consider also the fact that Evangel Presbytery is what I believe to be one of the founding Presbyteries of the PCA. Briarwood Church which is in Evangel Presbytery, was the church that sent out Pastor Phony to Puerto Rico, and whose Ministries Team Lead Pastor and Missions Ministries Team Pastor actively participated in the cover-up, were host to the very first General Assembly.

Yes. The rot runs deep.

Monday, September 21, 2020

Sharing a Little in the Hate of Vox Day and Owen Benjamin

I did a search on Google for my name and "divorce" and discovered this little gem on the subreddit /r/GammaSecretKings:

I certainly have a little taste now of what the Big Bear and Vox Day receive. They even mention The Kurgan as well in their subreddit.

I feel honored.
“If the world hates you, know that it has hated me before it hated you. If you were of the world, the world would love you as its own; but because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, therefore the world hates you. Remember the word that I said to you: ‘A servant is not greater than his master.’ If they persecuted me, they will also persecute you. If they kept my word, they will also keep yours. But all these things they will do to you on account of my name, because they do not know him who sent me.

Yes. I am a disciple of the Dark Lord and Big Bear.

Do you know your Dark Lord and Savior? Vox Day?

Are RPChristian Men Much Better Off After Divorce?

I don't know. The studies seem to indicate that men will tend to have much younger sexual partners (obviously). But that's the World. What about for Red Pill Christian men? 

So I posed the question and am interested to hear the stories, if there are any.

At least for me, prior to my divorce, I was paralyzed by the fear of Asset Rape and Child Custody disputes. I just read horror story after horror story of men getting screwed by divorce courts.

In my case, being less than two years after divorce and remarried to an angel in comparison to my ex, things have turned out much better than I could had ever imagined. In fact, had I known what the outcome would've been, I probably would've hurried my ex out the door the numerous times she threatened divorce prior.

Perhaps, it's because the movement is too young, that we don't hear from men who have gone through the divorce court gauntlet, come out on the other side, and stated it wasn't as bad as they had feared (or maybe it was!).

Obviously, it will be a mixed bag. I know it would had been more helpful for me to understand the aftermath.

I don't personally know a lot of divorced men myself, but the ones I do know, ended up trading in for a much better wife and are much happier now.

Anyway, I'm interested to hear some after-divorce reports. Obviously, the process itself is hell, and perhaps for some years after.

Are RPChristian men much better off in the end?

My Marriage Mistake: Trying to Reason With Her

Last night, I re-read a piece in AlphaGamePlan about a woman who was threatening divorce:

People who are threatened by a man's self-improvement will always attempt to undermine and belittle it. It doesn't matter if you lose 30 pounds; they'll harp on the 10 more than you could still stand to lose. It doesn't matter if you earn $30k more, they'll complain that it isn't $50k. If you get promoted to Assistant Vice President they'll wonder why you're not good enough to be Vice President.

This is the way of the world, and in particular, women. Complaining and pointing out flaws is how they maintain what they weirdly see as the upper hand.

My first advice is for this guy to never talk politics or current events with this woman. My second advice is for him to refuse her demand to go to a more liberal church. My third advice is for him to tell her that the next time she threatens divorce, he will take her at face value and separate from her. Don't be a drama queen about it, don't indulge her appetite for theatrics, just make it clear that will be the consequence. Then, when she does it again, (and she probably will, as a test if nothing else), he should tell her he'll be going on a road trip - go to Vegas, go to Thailand, go somewhere you've always wanted to go, it doesn't matter - at the end of which time he will return and find out if she still wants to remain married or not. If she wants to file for divorce, then she can go ahead and do it. But no more threats. Either file or shut the hell up.

However, he should not issue the warning if he is unable or unwilling to follow through. Threats, followed by inaction, is the very worst thing that a man can do in this situation. He's already dealing with an inappropriate lack of respect, which may or may not be merited. Failing to follow through would cement her disdain for him and rightly so.

And if she tries to prevent the road trip, probably by presenting some practical objections relating to work, money, or the children, there is only one response: I don't give a fuck. I warned you. Now deal with it. Then go and have a good time. Remind yourself that there is a whole world outside of your insane little box, that you are a free man, and you are not a prisoner.

If the wife is an emotional terrorist, stop negotiating with her. And don't let her use "the kiddos" as hostage either. (Note: "kiddos" is a gamma tell here.) It's actually worse for his sons to see him continue to constantly kowtow to her than for them to see him refuse to take her bullshit anymore and walk out; they know very well what she is like and they will lose respect for him too if he continues to be submissive to her.

The reason most women maintain the whip hand in a marriage is because most men are afraid to walk out on them and they know it. And the man who lives in fear of his wife is a man no woman can respect. Don't worry about the house, the bank account, or even the children. If your marital relationship is disordered, all of those things will be screwed up anyhow. I'm not counseling that he file for divorce; I don't believe in it. But the wife affects to believe it is an option, so call her on it.

It is such good advice that I did not know early enough or care early enough to implement.

It is interesting to remember some of the last arguments I had with my ex-wife now knowing that she had already decided on divorcing me by then. There was a period of about two months that my ex-wife had already began the process in secret. More than a year prior, she had already begun talking to at least one lawyer.

It wasn't until about a month after my ex-wife had reached the point of no return that I had the discussion with her stating I would stop using rhetoric against her. This was something I finally realized after listening to numerous Vox Day streams and articles. At this point, I was still completely clueless that she even considered divorce, let alone had reached the point of no return.

What she responded to me was essentially that it's not fair that I could just completely change with a snap of my finger. The damage had already been done, and there was nothing I could do to undo the hurt of all the rhetoric I had used against her over the last 12 years of marriage. Another time later we had a conversation where I told her I was concerned she took the pill of bitterness, and she stated that I "force fed" her the pill of bitterness.

Yes. In hindsight, these are all red flags. But still, I didn't believe divorce was in her since she backed out of her divorce threats at least two times prior in our marriage. Yes. I realize now that seems a stupid assumption on my part considering the two other times she threatened divorce.

The first time she threatened divorce was I think pushed primarily by me rather than her. I think this was 2014-2015. She was super unhappy and she expressed it was my fault she was super unhappy. This was while I was still in California. I stated to her, if she thinks I'm the cause of her unhappiness, then we should consider divorce so she wouldn't be so unhappy because I wasn't likely to change or provide the things she wanted to be happy. I opened up a spreadsheet and I told her that these were all our assets, and she could take half. She could divorce me and we will be happy. We can have shared custody. She will have to live with the consequences with the kids who will judge her for divorcing me and whatever judgment before God.

I spent hours discussing the consequences of her actions and trying to convince her to stay for her own best interest. She changed her mind.

Another incident occurred in December 2016 by the time we were in Puerto Rico. She stated once again that I was the cause of her unhappiness. This time, she said she was done, and that she was going to divorce me. Once again, I spent hours trying to convince her to stay for her own best interest and the kids. She changed her mind.

By 2017, when the same themes that have been popping up for years prior, that I was the cause of her unhappiness, she had already contacted an attorney for divorce. This time she didn't tell me. This time she didn't want to have hours of conversations where she gets talked out of it. I think due to logistics, because we were temporarily located in Miami due to Hurricane Maria, she may had changed her mind once again.

Then, we finally hit the end of 2018, and this time she went for divorce for real this time. When we returned to Puerto Rico in January 2018, the old church pastor and location was eliminated in Dorado. The pastoring was taken up by SJW Pastor Phony. My ex-wife had a male ally in her church pastor and the members who gave her the green light from God to divorce me on the basis of "emotional abuse."

You see, the mistake I amplified toward the end of our marriage was thinking reason and logic would change her mind. I laugh at how stupid I was even writing that sentence. I was immersed in "Cognitive Behavioral Therapy," Stefan Molyneux, Ben Shapiro, Podcasts, and the Non-Aggression Principle.

"Facts don't care about your feelings."

"Not an argument."

I thought that if she could only hear how self-contradictory and logically incoherent her arguments were when she was in a calmer, emotional state, that she would self-correct (just as I did when I began appreciating the logical coherence of the Non-Aggression Principle). So toward the end of 2015, I started recording all our arguments. I started doing video podcasts, so I eventually moved to recording our arguments in a video podcast setup like you see on the Joe Rogan podcast.

I hope one day I can get a waiver from my ex-wife to publicize it all because I think it would be excellent in teaching married men how to not be as retarded as I was in the face of such foolish rebelliousness in a wife.

One of the consequences of me trying to spend hours trying to reason with my wife, even to the point of recording the arguments, was that she would eventually agree to what I said on the video, but then the next day, just do whatever she wanted. Or she would do what she wanted to do in contradiction to what she agreed to on video but in secret. Sometimes, she would involve the children in her lies and tell the children to lie or withhold information from their father.

What my ex will say, is that I was gas-lighting her and using "reason and logic" to make her doubt what she believes. My ex is what Aristotle would call dialectically illiterate. Even when trying to discuss with her that I am just explaining how things ARE and the TRUTH of the matter, she would try and jump to conclusions trying to state what I was implying. Her conclusions would be way into left field. Or, she would eventually state, "Well, that's YOUR truth!"

It was maddening.

She hated having arguments with me because I would talk primarily in the dialectic and she simply could not follow along. Eventually she would say something stupid exemplifying she did not understand anything I had just spent hours trying to explain, and resort to rhetoric.

She even handed to me numerous times, for which I was too stupid to accept, "Look, just tell me what you want, because why do you want my opinion on this when you're just going to decide for us anyway?!"

Instead, like the stupid man I was, I wanted my ex to have the same understanding and agreement of my decisions to the same degree that I did after hours of research and reflection.

Today, I recognize, she was completely incapable of ever coming to the same understanding of any subject that I can. I was basically beating up on a special needs kid because they were too dumb to understand how to do calculus.

I would estimate my IQ is around 130. I estimate her IQ to be below 100. 

She was entirely incapable of ever being able to come to the same level of understanding I had. On the IQ level she was incapable. On the dialectic level, she was incapable. On the speed of which she could absorb new information, she was incapable. On the love of Truth, she was incapable.

If you picture Vox Day's face when he encounters such a stupid question or attempt to argue with him, I probably showed at least double or three times the contempt and disgust on my face.

It was like the stupid things she would say were her farting into my face and demanding I acknowledge that her farts smelled good.

I got really pissed when my daughters became old enough to argue with me. They are like 7 and 8 years old. I started hearing the same level of logic of an 8 year old coming out of my wife's mouth! My wife was not happy when I informed her that her attempt of argument was to a level of sophistication that our 8 year old daughter had just told me a couple days prior. Indeed, she was acting like a child.

Everything above, under Puerto Rican law, are considered emotional abuse, and by definition, Domestic Abuse. Because I refused to allow the household be run by a child trapped in a grown woman's body, she had sufficient evidence for the Protection Order she filed against me. It didn't matter that the arguments occurred only once a month either.

The mere fact that I said my disgust out loud to her face was enough to constitute emotional abuse.

I made things worse than they could've been because I tried to reason with her and gain consensus. I still did what I had to do for the household, but I could've done it without causing greater relational deterioration by expressing my contempt for her foolishness to her face.

I think another layer of anger and frustration underlying my impatience was the fact that I felt trapped in the marriage with such a foolish and lying wife. I knew I had made a mistake, and I knew I would have to live with her for the rest of my life because I did not believe in divorce (and assumed she didn't either). Numerous times I had imagined that if she had died, I wouldn't really be that sad. Me not divorcing her was solely out of obedience to the law, but in my heart I was completely done. This was my lot and I hated it.

Why did I try to talking my ex out of divorce during the numerous times she would had? Why was I willing to bend the knee to her should she had reconciled with me shortly after she filed the Protection Order and the divorce decree was issued?

I knew on an intellectual level that I would be better without her, but the fear of the asset rape and custody dispute paralyzed me. I loved my fancy pants and lollipops and my children, more than I cared about having a better wife.

I'm thankful that she didn't give me the opportunity to cuck. I would've continued cucking until I got to the point where I returned back to my default state, and told her to do her worst. I would had just been pushing the divorce to a different day in the future.

I did not find my resolve and gratefulness until AFTER the Protection Order and I started having an avalanche of Colombian women eager to be my wife. As I spend more time with my wonderful, new wife, my thankfulness and relief only grows. What a sweet mercy my ex gave me!

Nevertheless, the lesson of simply being an acting agent, and not trying to convince every thought of your wife, is something I will be taking into my future and teaching my sons and son-in-laws.

Sunday, September 20, 2020

Amnon, the Sister-Raper

In 2 Samuel 13:1-22, it tells of the story of Amnon, David's son, who rapes his half-sister Tamar. I've read the story many times, but some new realizations have come up based on life experience.

  1. Amnon is a prince
  2. Amnon lives in a world where he can marry more than one wife
  3. He still chose to rape his sister

Even, Jonadab, a very crafty man, states the praise: "O son of the king."

And still Amnon wanted to fuck his sister! Was he just so ugly and had such bad game that he could not find a woman equally beautiful than his own sister?

Being the son of a king, he could've probably gotten two or three just as hot or hotter. His brother, Solomon, didn't seem to have any shortage of beautiful women to marry. 

And then once he rapes his sister, it seems he didn't marry her, which is what I'm guessing is what she meant by putting her away. Verse 15 states:

Then Amnon hated her with very great hatred, so that the hatred with which he hated her was greater than the love with which he had loved her. And Amnon said to her, “Get up! Go!”

Yikes. There are men that exist like that in this world. How quickly they turn from worship to complete hate.

It reminds me of the people who so quickly turned hateful toward those whom they once loved (ie. ex Bears, ex Voxers, The mutant in 300, the archvillian in the Incredibles).

No. I'm Not Talking About You.

When I am talking about my thought process. I am actually just talking about MY thought process. Not yours. Not the world's. Not anyone elses'. Just mine.

One of the things that is difficult to understand with the SSH, is that Vox Day is not trying to state necessarily that one classification is superior to another. Since Vox Day's SSH seems to stem from the standard Alpha/Beta model which DOES seem to indicate which is "better," I suppose it is not surprising that people would take this same valuation mindset to Vox Day's SSH.

Of course, there are classifications that are undesirable. Gammas. Oooo the hated Gammas. It has become so hated, it has turned into rhetoric that is used as quickly as "racist" by liberals, even in Social Galactic. Whether true or not is not relevant as the context of the word being used is Rhetoric and not Dialectic.

If I were Vox, there has to be a sense of pride that he essentially created, out of nowhere, a brand new rhetorical attack that never had existed prior. It seems this one has staying power too. Gamma!

With this belief that one class is "better" than another, in my attempts to articulate my thought process which seems to fit Vox Day's description of a Sigma, there is a belief by outsiders that I am somehow trying to declare myself "superior" to other classes.

Yes. I have a little contempt for the SSH, and naturally toward Alphas, Gammas, Omegas, and any other individual who feels compelled to follow its pointless rules. But I also recognize, that my perception of its usefulness relates to my own unique circumstances. I do not write from your perspective with your unique, God given, abilities, wants, desires, past history, etc.

Unless you're independently wealthy with "fuck me" money (which is the next level above "fuck you" money), then absolutely not, you should not be having the same mindset as me. In fact, most people would be wise to NOT do what I do. In all likelihood it will turn out really bad for them and they won't recover.

But you're all adults. I don't need to tell you that, nor ever claimed you should be following my half-baked advice (if I do give any or you perceive I do).

Unfortunately, what happens repeatedly is that individuals who read my honest account of my thought process as being OUGHTS or how things SHOULD be. Just because I state how things ARE in my mind, doesn't necessarily mean I believe it morally SHOULD be that way for every single person in the whole wide world. I already know I am one good argument away from being completely wrong.

This post came out of me thinking writing about the unique difficulties that my ex-wife faced when she was married to me (a Sigma). I will continue this thought process in the next post.

Now I Understand Why Vox Day Doesn't Blog About Personal Matters

First, I will admit that the titles I chose scream Gamma. They are click-batey and scream for attention:

Yes. I chose the titles to be intentionally provocative. So anyone who reads the posts and subsequently calls me a Gamma is understandable correct on their instincts, especially when they are not familiar with my other posts or my successes in life (and assume I'm bragging rather than just explaining objective facts). 

No. I did not choose the titles because I have a deep longing for your approval. I've been writing for years with probably no-one reading my blog and making VodCasts with minimal viewers.

I write the blog primarily for myself (this is how I process), for my children and grand children (should I die unexpectedly), and for any other person who will happen to be in similar situations as me that may find my posts useful. Maybe the audience for that is ten people. My wife doesn't even read my blog really. I haven't met any people in real life that read my blog daily, and if I did meet them, it would be kind of weird for me.

I am surrounded by enough independently wealthy people that it is not considered bragging when you talk about your own success or their success in life. It's just a fact. I don't suffer from envy and immediately get triggered when someone talks about their own success. In fact, I'm interested to hear their stories because perhaps I can learn from them. It's probably a reason why successful people don't discuss their success in a public forum, because inevitably, you get the envious who falsely accuse the author of bragging or lying in order to cover up some underlying insecurity the author must have. The bottom feeders are projecting how they would act and feel should they be in the same successful position as the author.

Owen Benjamin and Vox Day get this same response all the time when they discuss their successes and high IQ. It doesn't surprise me at all if I'm getting the same reaction considering my IQ is lower than theirs.

The reality is that there are so few Sigmas that exist in the SSH and they rarely care enough to write about their inner monologue, that I'm probably the only self-professed Sigma that writes very personal stuff in his personal blog.

(If you know of anyone else, please let me know. Vox Day intentionally does not write about personal stuff, understandably.)

I have another friend who I would categorize a Sigma as well. He's incredibly intelligent and capable, and he doesn't need the SSH to be successful nor really cares. In fact, he had incredible success prior to some unfortunate events that he didn't have control over. He will recover out of nowhere and have one of the most beautiful women in the room and everyone will be scratching their head saying, "Where the hell did he come from?" It won't surprise me one bit because I know him.

Sigmas and Omegas operate outside of the SSH. Sigmas obtain success because of their genetic talents. Omegas, unfortunately, simply were not gifted as such and probably just had given up.

One major tell of a Gamma is that they lie to themselves and lie to others. I do not lie. I tell the Truth relentlessly. My blog is a testament to that.

And of course, I get criticism because I'm writing about myself so much. These individuals are complete buffoons. I am writing about my personal stuff on my own personal blog that they chose to visit and read. The web address to my site is literally: BLOG.JEFFERSONKIM.COM

Where else would it be appropriate for me to write about my personal thoughts? I am not writing my personal thoughts or trying to hijack Vox Day's blog or Owen Benjamin's streams. Vox Day and Owen Benjamin rightly kick out the spergs that try to make it about themselves on other people's blogs/streams. Everyone goes to Vox Day's blog to hear Vox Day's thoughts. They go to Owen Benjamin's streams because they want to hear Owen Bejamin's thoughts.

You go to my blog to. . .  read my thoughts.

Owen Benjamin goes deep into his own psyche and I love it. It helps me to understand and relate on a tangible level. My only desire for Vox Day is for me to hear more of his inner monologue about personal matters in his life. Of course, knowing his position and how many enemies he has, it would be unwise. It is humorous, that even the very individual who defined the terms Gamma & Sigma in relation to the SSH, is accused of being a Gamma when he explains he is a Sigma.

The ankle-biting never ends. The stupidity never ends. Of course, Vox Day stopped writing in AlphaGamePlan.com and doesn't regret it at all. Vox Day literally tried to help create a blog to help those lower in the SSH understand themselves and improve, and instead got inundated with "what about me?" and attacks on his character based on projected insecurities they think Vox Day must have.

I understand the blessings of not being famous or super intelligent. The level of retardation I face is still within manageable levels so it doesn't really change what I would write. I know I am nowhere as gifted as they are. I'm not trying to become ultra famous.

But, man. I would not want to be in the same place as Vox Day and Owen Benjamin. I prefer enjoying the fruits of their labor, without having to suffer the costs they've had to endure.

The Most Popular Sigma in High School

The degree to which I don't give a shit about the social hierarchy can be summed up in the nickname that people have given to me over the years in various circles, "The Jefferson."

My community group leader in Mars Hill, Orange County, labelled me the Honey Badger. He was referring to this video.

When I was in college, I received a prophetic vision. I ran in Charismaniac circles. The vision consisted of them seeing a wood-pecker on a tree. Yes. Persistent.

So, it comes to the surprise of pretty much everyone who knows me now how "popular" I was in high school. It is very surprising to many people who have known me in high school to see how much of an asshole I've become.

Though I did not excel in sports, I did excel in pretty much every other high school activity. The thought process I had when I was 13 years old consisted of me crying out to God, weeping in my basement bedroom about how I felt abandoned by my mother (she did when I was 11), and me declaring that I would not be a little pussy like those Lifetime dramas where the child mopes around blaming himself for his parents' divorce. I may not have a mother or father (who was physically and emotionally absent), but I had a Heavenly Father who loved me much more than they ever would. The lack of good, earthly parents could not be an excuse.

I made a promise to myself I would push myself as hard as I could, even if I felt social fear, because in the end, I would probably never see any of these jokers again after college.

Awkward? Embarrassment? It's not like I didn't feel it in the deep of my stomach, or with the heating of my face. But I swallowed the fear and pushed it down. I steamed forward in whatever endeavor, failure or success, it didn't matter. I'd give it a go no matter what.

I did exactly that, pursuing every activity I could get my hands on. Success came my way in pretty much everything I involved myself in.

  • Jazz Band, Lead Trombone
  • Concert Band, Lead Euphonium
  • Student Body, Junior Senator
  • Student Body, Treasurer (Probably could had been President, but I didn't want to compete against my friend)
  • Lead Actor as Billy in the Musical, "Anything Goes"
  • Co-Lead in a One-Act play with one other Co-Lead
  • President of the Honor's Society
  • Homecoming Prince (of 5 dudes out of about 500 in my Senior Class)
  • All-State & All-Northwest Bands
  • Honors Classes
  • Leading a Worship band for a Christian ministry that met during lunches
In my Junior Year of high school Year Book, I was in the most pictures of everyone. There's an index that you can use to locate people, and I made it my goal be in the most "clubs" that I could have pictures in. I succeeded.

I am quick-witted and could joke around. I always greeted everyone I knew in the hallway by name. I didn't care if it felt awkward. I didn't want myself hindered by feelings of nervousness or concern if someone didn't like me. In fact, it became a game for me that for the shyer ones, I would make myself extra loud so they definitely could not ignore me.

This high school was predominantly White. The SE Asians typically stuck to themselves in their cliques. I never really associated with them at all preferring my band nerd friends. I was the only minority with the band nerds. All the rest of them were always White.

I don't think I have ever worked as hard in my entire life than I did while I was in high school. I got bloody noses constantly, and thanks to my irritable bowel syndrome, probably didn't have a solid stool my entire four years. For fuck's sake, I would go to zero period, just to play in a Jazz Band.

Based on the trajectory of my "popularity" and achievements of High School, I went ahead and joined a fraternity with the other "popular" friends from high school.

During the weekends, I would attend the Korean church youth groups where I would be surrounded entirely by Korean (some Fresh off the boat. Many sporting K-pop styles), and others who only hung out with SE Asians when they were in school. I was pretty much the only one, who during the school week, would not associate with other Koreans. I was an outsider when I was with the all-Korean youth group, that would often make Korean jokes that I didn't fully understand (because I didn't know Korean), or I felt a little bit of an outsider with the White cliques I was a part of being the only minority.

When the Koreans hosted the World Cup, all my Korean church friends were crazy excited, while I took a nap. When I have gotten into race wars with Puerto Ricans or Indians, they always resort to racial insults like chinky eyes, I'm somehow related to the North Korean leader, combing my face (this is an Indian insult) and sticking egg rolls up my ass. I find it more amusing they would think I give a shit.

I'm supposed to give a shit. Just like if I were to insult their races, they would get super offended. They're projecting. The thing is, I see how Korean immigrants act, and I'm frankly disgusted. They have to go back. Sink the damn ships. I'm in 100% support even if it means my own ass would have to go back. (I'm separating out the macro from the micro). Of course, I would ask for an exemption since I have four half-white children.

In High School, the thing that made me more popular was the fact that I was highly capable, and extremely friendly to everyone. Because I really didn't give a shit about what they thought about me, it freed me to take risks and eventually succeed in every endeavor. I was not afraid of failure. In fact, it got to a point where I would do an activity just to make sure I didn't enjoy it.

To those in the Social Hierarchy, they will state I am saying all the things above because this is my way to humble brag. Secretly, I long for the good 'ol days like Al Bundy in "Married with Children" when I was the high school quarterback and everyone loved me. But now, I am just a shoe salesman.

In fact, it is the opposite. I have complete contempt for the amount of time I wasted in high school doing all these activities that I assumed meant I was "successful." I wasn't an asshole because I didn't realize just how much I was lied to. I just went along with the narrative and played my role to the best of my ability.

My children will be home educated. Fuck high school. I hope it burns down. I have complete contempt toward all public high schools and all Universities. What a fucking waste of time.

Especially band. All the hours per week, probably 15 - 20 hours I WASTED to maintain the egos and funding of over-bloated music programs at public schools. If I had spent that time instead with my musically talented friends writing and developing music, we'd probably at least have some albums and money to show in return.

The smart move would had been doing four years of high school, with the last two years in their "head start" program that would give you a Associates Degree upon graduation. Today, I have no idea what the smart move would be. But fuck high school and all its meaningless Social Hierarchy games that I participated in.