Yesterday, I was officially married.
We had to fly to Orlando, Florida (from Puerto Rico) in order to get a marriage certificate because the Demographic Office (a subsection of the Health Department) has no way of accepting notarized marriage documents.
So you can get married, legally speaking, in Puerto Rico, but you can't get an official marriage certificate. You can get the marriage certificate eventually when the Demographic Offices are open, and they would recognize your official "marriage" date.
When is the Department of Health in Puerto Rico planning on reopening the Demographic Office to issue new marriage certificates to new marriages?
Who the hell knows?
So instead of deciding to wait for who knows how long, we decided to fly to Orlando where the process is well communicated and described on the official Orange County, Florida website. They don't answer phone calls, but they were responsive to emails.
Here's a video describing more details.