Sunday, June 28, 2020

What if your kids found out?

There's a scene in Breaking Bad, Season 3, Episode 2, where Skyler is discussing with her boss how she cannot sign off on some accounting books that are clearly faked. She then asks her boss:
Skylar: What if your kids found out?
Boss: If my kids found out?
S: This. What you're doing? Someday they're gonna be old enough. How would you explain it to them?
B: Well, put me on the spot, why don't you? I guess maybe I'd... I'd say that might have feet of clay... but that whatever I did, I did it for them. You know, trying to provide.
And I'd ask them to try to take the time to understand...
You know what? Truth is, I haven't thought that far ahead, Skyler. I'm just trying to keep my head above water, so... I'd better get back to it.

I've discovered with my interactions with most people that I'm one of the weird ones to think about this fact. Strategic and long-term planning is a gift that most people don't have. Once again, the axiom, "most people are idiots" rings true.

I consider how my children will judge my custodianship of them while they were too small to fend for themselves. It's one of the reasons why I document so much of my thought processes both in this blog, and on videos blogs I make just for them.

I will have no way of lying and hiding the facts of what I was thinking at the moment. My thoughts will be exposed to the light of judgment.

I judge my parents and I expect this same judgment I cast on my parents to be cast upon me. I cannot fathom neglecting my children the way my parents neglected me. As I understand who they are as people, I am not surprised.

I think for most people, the thought of your private actions being judged in the distant future by your children, is something so abstract, that they don't care.

All they think about are immediate consequences, as Matthew 7:13, ESV states:
13 “Enter by the narrow gate. For the gate is wide and the way is easy[a] that leads to destruction, and those who enter by it are many. 14 For the gate is narrow and the way is hard that leads to life, and those who find it are few.
I recall an even greater judgment. The one that will be before Christ.

Yes. My children will judge me. But, ultimately, it's nothing compared to the judgment I will have before Christ for the things that he has entrusted me with.

How will I act when threatened with my children being taken away? When my fancy pants and lollipops are threatened to be taken away? Will I remain silent? When faced with evil within your household, will you allow it to control your family, or will you stand your ground in Logos even if the end result is divorce?

If you had to choose between your wife divorcing you, or you submitting to her headship, what will you choose?

I can tell you many men choose to simply submit to their wive's headship and pervert the commands of the Bible to mean something entirely different than the original intent of the authors.

I can tell you that I wasn't given that choice in such an explicit matter, and if I did, I probably would've taken the submission option for a short time, until I thought about the implications some more. I would've been too disgusted with myself to allow it to continue.
I'm not allowing the family to go down the wide and easy path because of her sin.
What kind of man would I be? How would I be judged to allow that?
Let her do her worst.
And now on the other side of things, I see even the worst she could've done wasn't all that bad (and actually benefited me in many ways). All will be made right in the end as long as I make a stand in Logos. Have no fear.
26 “So have no fear of them, for nothing is covered that will not be revealed, or hidden that will not be known. 27 What I tell you in the dark, say in the light, and what you hear whispered, proclaim on the housetops. 28 And do not fear those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather fear him who can destroy both soul and body in hell.[h] 29 Are not two sparrows sold for a penny?[i] And not one of them will fall to the ground apart from your Father. 30 But even the hairs of your head are all numbered. 31 Fear not, therefore; you are of more value than many sparrows. 32 So everyone who acknowledges me before men, I also will acknowledge before my Father who is in heaven, 33 but whoever denies me before men, I also will deny before my Father who is in heaven.

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