A friend of mine was asking me last night whether I had any regrets about never marrying, especially since I had such awesome Christian female friends like her. I thought about it, and I thought that maybe it is better to not have married, especially when I read stories about how family courts trample over the rights of men to favor women, regardless of what the law says.
I replied on his page with the following content:
I wonder how many authentic, Christian men would trade their children they had with a wicked ex-wife just so they could have more fancy pants and lollipops. The regret is against being foolish and marrying the ex-wife to begin with, and not against the child(ren).
I think the statistics for Christian men with children that have been divorced unbiblically by their “Christian” ex-wife is exceptionally low considering how few personal accounts I can find online. I have found maybe two others that perhaps share a similar story of mine and I have been blogging about my experience quite extensively since the beginning of this year.
Also, the existence of an online, Christian, men divorce groups is almost non-existent, which leads me to believe that the percentages are just so low as to almost be irrelevant.
So, two things I have observed:
1) The risk of accidentally marrying a “Christian” woman that results in her unbiblically divorcing you is overblown. Yes, a risk, but it’s more about the person you marry than the system itself. You can find a woman with enough character that won’t “pull the trigger” no matter how tempting.
2) Having the children is still worth the loss of fancy pants and lollipops even if she does.
What is difficult for Christian men who don't have children, especially during a time where families live multi-state and are not very close in general, is just how valuable children are.
I am on the receiving end of the unjust court system.
But, as I was going through the system, what I realized was that all the money in the world did not matter in comparison to the loss of my children. The asset rape is the easy part. The hard part was having my children ripped away by a Protection Order and my ex's continual efforts to alienate the children from me.
Wintery Knight responded:
Yes. I think the risk is easy to mitigate if you know what to ask her .
This post is more about the family courts though, and no amount of wisdom from the man will make those fair for men. It’s out of our control. The only smart play is not to play at all.
To which I replied:
“It’s out of our control. The only smart play is not to play at all.”
I would object with the term “only” as Apostle Paul does not even believe celibacy is for everyone during a time when Christians were getting murdered. I am assuming that marriage and children during Roman times are interchangeable since they probably did not believe in the pull-out method. We cannot claim that divorce courts are to the extreme level of persecution of Apostle Paul’s day.
Assuming one doesn’t have the gift of celibacy, then the only remaining option is to get married assuming Christian ethics.
What do you think is the risk profile for a Christian man today to mistakenly marry a Christian woman that eventually divorces him unbiblically?
1 out of 10? 1 out of 100? 1 out of 1,000?
The risk has been overblown by the Red Pill community by those who are embittered by the system, primarily non-Christians, or those fear mongering.
Not for one second, despite what I have been through, would I recommend to any Christian man, who does not have the gift of celibacy, to fornicate and remain unmarried. There is no "smartness" about breaking God's commands on the excuse that the legal system is unjust.
Imagine trying to explain that logic to Apostle Paul or any of the early Christians persecuted by the Romans.